He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize