when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
