it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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