The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
