Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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