if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
