I wish I could teleport
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
