Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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