you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
