This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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