your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
