I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
