I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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