I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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