I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.