There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration