I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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