i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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