Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
