I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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