im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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