just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
