Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
