Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
