a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
