who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
