I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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