there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
