I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
