morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
