My room smells like vodka and shame
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
