i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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