Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
