Small penises have feelings too.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
