He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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