Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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