Christians are straight up FREAKS
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
