i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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