Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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