Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
