we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As shirtless as possible
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
