Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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