so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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