what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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