I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
