Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.