Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
