Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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