if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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