We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
