i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
