I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
