I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He passed out mid-signature
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Even my vagina gasped.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
