hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
