ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
