The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
