I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
