so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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