She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
