trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
